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[Nov. 2nd, 2009|06:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
And all that I have in this world,
and everything I'll ever be,
It can all fall down around me just as long as I have you right here by me.. <3
Samuel Todd Miller,
You are my world.
As long as I have you by my side for the rest of my life everything will be okay. I can feel it more everyday.
I love you more than any words could ever express. My heart is yours and yours alone, FOREVER. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|11:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
My faith has really been tested the last month or so.
It seems that God has thrown more obstacles at Sam and I than I thought we would ever go through.
I question if God makes mistakes, if his plan is truly perfect.
And Sam always reassures me that no matter how bad it may hurt God will take care of it and that there is a reason and a plan.
I will never understand the way that this plan works and maybe I should stop trying to.
However, through how bad things have been the last month and especially the last few days, Sam has always kept my faith there.
I am amazed at how strong he is and at how strong his faith his.
He amazed me more every single day.
I know that for the rest of our lives, no matter how bad and bumpy things may get he is the one I want and need by my side.
Someday I'll be his wife and I couldn't be more proud of that.
Every thing that has happened really makes me step back and look at my life.
There are things that I put off every day to do tomorrow,
And this just hits home the fact that you can't know how many tomorrows you truly have.
Life works in funny ways,
I guess its true that it won't be easy, but I sure hope it will be worth it.
STM, forever and ever baby. I promise. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2009|12:06 am] |
I sit here and wonder where the faith is supposed to come from some days.
How can you believe in God in a world where terrible things happen to amazing people?
How can you just know that God has a plan when the plan doesn't make sense.
Perhaps the only faith we can really have is in each other.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2009|09:13 am] |
At some point life became more than I can handle..
It feels like everything is just too much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2009|11:39 am] |
There are a few people in life who you would honestly do anything for.
I'm learning every day to hold on to those people as tight as I can.
God won't give you a mountain you can't climb.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
I've been back home for over two months now.
And the entire time I've been back there has been one question bouncing around in my head.
"How do you know when you're IN love?"
And every day I figure out another little piece of that answer.
I've come to realize that it isn't the big things that make you know you're in love.
It isn't the surprise trips to cedar point that make you so excited you could scream,
Or the selfless gestures of fixing a car or carting the other person around.
The answer has so much more to it than I ever imagined.
It's the littlest things..
The butterflies and giddy feeling you get every time you are coming home to him,
The complete comfort you feel in the silence you share together,
The fact that a perfect Sunday becomes relaxing and watching movies all day,
The fact that the first thought you have every morning is of that person.
The fact that you can look at them and never grow tired of that handsome face and perfect smile with the world's cutest dimple.
I used to think that love was made up of constant butterflies.
That if you didn't have those little butterflies bouncing around in your stomach every second of the day it couldn't possibly be love.
Now I get it.
Those butterflies aren't the only feeling that shows love.
That smile you get on your face when the one you love walks in the door,
And that lonely, longing feeling you get when they're gone for only a night or two,
Or the way your heart feels like it's going to explode every single time he says "I love you babe."
Those are part of love.
How can I still find new things to love about this man that I've been with for a year a half?
I hope that for the rest of my life I get to have him by my side,
Nothing makes me more proud than being able to call him mine. <3
Samuel Todd Miller,
You will never know how deep my love for you goes or how amazing you are.
You are perfect, my dream man.
Baby, I love you more than words could ever say. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I never thought that living on my own would be so stressful.
Between my car being a piece of shit, my phone breaking, school and two jobs I feel like the walls are closing in all the time.
I hate working, but I need as many hours and I can get to be able to afford anything. I can't even afford to fix my car or go grocery shopping at this point because I have rent and car insurance payments due next week. Most days I feel like the walls are going to collapse.
When does life stop being so stressful?
I thank God that I have Sam by my side. He can always always make me laugh and smile. I don't know what I would do without him. He's my everything and every day reassures me that that fact isn't going to change anytime soon. How did I get so lucky? I love you babe. ALWAYS.
Dear life,
Please stop throwing so many obstacles and bumps in my path. Thanks.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|09:09 am] |
It's crazy how much I love you...
And it still grows everyday.
STM <3
You're my rock.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2009|06:43 pm] |
I'm SO in love with you :)
STM <3 |
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| Incredible <3 |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|03:11 pm] |
I've been home for almost three weeks now. Which seems crazy and impossible. But at the same time I finally feel like life is slowing down a little bit. Being home with Sam has been so incredible. I still lay there every night right before I fall asleep and almost start to cry before I realize I don't have a countdown, that I'll be in this bed tomorrow night and the next night and a year from now (maybe not this exact bed but with Sam :))
Our biggest problem now seems to be finding me a car. I didn't think it would be SO hard. It would help if I wasn't so picky. We found a nice 1997 lumina that runs great and looks fine. I just hate how big it is and that is like powder blue with a matching interior. I know that at this point I should just take what I can find that doesn't sound like it's going to blow up every time you press the gas peddle. But I am learning to drive stick in hopes of getting a 2001 ford focus that looks nice :) I'm just nervous that I'll never really be great at driving stick. But I have the best teacher in the world :)
I'm trying to remember that just because I'm home doesn't mean that there won't be bad with the good. I guess in some part of my mind I was hoping that being home and having Sam by my side would just keep all the bad away. Unrealistic, I know. But Sam still makes everything so much better. When I get so frustrated and upset and scared he's right there by my side. And he knows exactly how to make me smile and laugh. He always makes the world fall back in place and start turning again. I still fall more in love with that amazing man every single day. I was scared once I got home that things would change, that feelings would stop getting stronger. But they just keep growing and I don't know how I can possibly love him anymore than I do, but tomorrow when I wake up and open my eyes to him laying next to me I know I'll love him more than I do right now. We have our fights and our disagreements but we're learning how to get through them without completely falling apart and starting back at square one. He's so patient with me and most of the time very understanding. He believes in me more than anyone in the world and makes sure that I know it. I still look at him every day and thank god and wonder how I got so lucky.
On another positive note I got two jobs :) One which I am SO SO excited about at LCC and the other at a restaurant as a server, which I'm not so sure about. I don't think I have enough people skills or enough strength to even lift a tray. But at least I've got a job and know that I can make rent :)
I love you babe.
Forever. :)
Thank you for today and tomorrow and every day that you decide I'm worth spending with :)
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2009|02:56 pm] |
How did I get so lucky? :)
STM <3 you are AMAZING :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2009|01:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
I'm back HOME :)
And everything feels so right. :)
I'm so happy with Sam. He makes everything so great and perfect.
I finally have my life back and feel like myself again :)
I love you babe, so so much.
FOREVER. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|07:27 pm] |
Two days left.
It's so hard to believe I'm almost home again. :)
I haven't seen Sam since March 30th...
Ugh I can't wait to finally hug him again.
It's hard to believe everything we've been through.
It doesn't seem possible.
I love you baby. <3
Forever. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|09:16 pm] |
About 12 days until I get my life back..
So close...except it feels like forever. :(
I love you baby. <3
Always, always, always. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|08:49 pm] |
Three Weeks. :)
Then I'm back home where I belong with my baby.
I can't wait to wake up to that handsome man every day :)
Every day that passes makes me more sure that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Three weeks..it almost feels real. :)
I love you baby. <3
Forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|09:02 pm] |
Everything feels..impossible.
And empty.
i.l.y.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2009|10:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
LESS THAN 5 WEEKS.
How crazy is that?
It seems impossible and yet so real at the same time.
The truth is..
I'm terrified.
But not because I don't want to be HOME,
Or because i don't feel like it's right.
Just because this is a HUGE step in our relationship.
This is the biggest step I've ever taken in anything.
And I couldn't be more excited. :)
Curling up with my baby every night after a long hard day will be amazing.
Slipping into his arms when I'm feeling scared or frustrated and instantly feeling my entire body relax is amazing.
Waking up next him and knowing that no matter what the day brings he'll be right there for me, is perfect.
Everything about US and our FUTURE makes me so excited and so happy.
I've found REAL and HONEST love..
How amazing is that? :)
This man makes me fall in love with him all over again every single day.
And I wake up and realize every day that I couldn't be anymore lucky.
He is AMAZING and PERFECT.
And my whole world :)
I love you Samuel Todd Miller. :)
Forever and ever and ever.
I promise.
Baby, just hold on.
SO close :)
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|06:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Excited and VERY anxious | ] |
Roughly 33 days..
That's all that is seperating me from what I want most in the world.
Hard to believe we've already made it about ten months.
In 33 days I'll get to see the love of my life every day and fall asleep in his arms every night :)
Could anything be more perfect?
Ugh, he is so AMAZING and perfect :)
I can't wait to start our forever TOGETHER. <3
And I'm done with school in SEVEN days :)
That's a little less stress to deal with in my life.
Thankfully.
I don't think I can handle this for much longer.
I love you babe.
Forever and ever and ever. :)
SO close :)
You are incredible. :) :) <3 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2009|12:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Every day that goes by I get a little more scared of losing what I have.
This amazing man who I still can't believe I have.
I'm not scared of that feeling that I want to spend forever with him,
I'm scared of that feeling that he'll change his mind.
I've given everything I have to him..
What if someday I'm not enough?
He's everything I've ever dreamed of,
Everything I've ever needed.
I've built this life around him..I'm scared I'm going to mess that up.
I feel like I've messed up a lot in my life,
I don't want this to go wrong.
I love him more than I ever thought possible..
I don't want this dream to ever end..
I love you Sam.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2009|09:52 pm] |
Forty-Four.
We're getting so close to having this be over..
I can't wait to feel whole again.
To feel happy again.
I can't wait to just be with Sam <3
I love you baby. Forever. I promise. :) |
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